yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
