I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
