Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
