i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
