I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
