I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
