No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
