We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
