Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
