Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
