I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
