just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
