I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
