Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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