found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
