Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
