Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
