did you get engaged???
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
