It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
