dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
