is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
