i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
