Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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