it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
