piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
