We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize