Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
