Who did Billy Mays play for?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
