she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
