your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
