I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
