dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the day after is always just damage control
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
