True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
