Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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