what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
