I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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