All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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