Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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