Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
