is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
