Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
