well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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