i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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