My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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