Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Say something about gay babies.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
