Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
