At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
