Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
