Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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