In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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