problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
