sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize