No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
