i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
