My sheets look like a crime scene.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
