just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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