dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I need to sanitize my soul.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
