Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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