I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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