Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
