Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize