im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
