have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
