So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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