Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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