xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
